it was NOT my sexuality or nudity that caused my abuse... no one has the right to my body, without my permission
I am passionate about the beauty of the human body in its most natural form, nude. I myself, I personally view nudity as self-empowering, especially for those who
have had their innocence, trust-worthiness, and comfort abused, mistreated or taken advantage of, the wandering souls inside of bodies, like myself. I believe it is a way to reinforce with ourselves, and society, that our nudity does not inherently come with permission to our self display of love, as in,my nudity is not my permission to be touched, harassed, or misused. That while those around my nudity can look, they must not ever touch without my permission. That gives me, any many like me, so much power back, power that was ripped away from us before I knew the power of nudity, the power of our own free choice. Nudity to me is a powerful form of Freedom.
I find posing nude freeing, peaceful, a place of self and love captured between lens and frames. A Memory of what once was, and will never be again. A body of youth, perfection, no stretch marks or laugh lines. This images for me is my Prime, not of my body, no, those stories haven't been written yet. But of my mind, growing, grasping onto societies expectations of me, and ultimately, my breaking those expectations in my truest form, nude. Glowing with pride wearing everything that I was born with, and everything I will die with. Nothing more, nothing less.
For me, this path of self love, body acceptance and passion for nudity and human form started long before I can consciously remember acknowledging it. At the age of 5 I was sexually abused by someone I loved and trusted, My Father. For 5 years he took advantage of my love and trust for my guardians, abusing my innocence and nudity for his own self pleasures. For over 12 years this majorly distorted my self-confidence, self-views and how I viewed my body. For years I was nothing but an object to be used for the pleasure of others, never myself.
It took years to heal from my abuse, but I now know, without a doubt, that if I can pose nude for hundreds of photographers, Male & Female, without being abused, that it was NOT my sexuality or nudity that caused my abuse and that no one has the right to my body, without my permission, besides me. Each nude photo reminds me of this power and right that I, and everyone, in entitled to.
I believe that we as a society have a long way to go on our views and thoughts of human form and nudity. However I am thankful we are slowly but surely embracing the beauty and innocence of nudity and human bodies in their natural forms. While I still feel there is far to much sexual connection made within our society to nudity, I believe we are progressing as a society. Each Country I believe has difference levels of this progression, while some embrace the changes we are seeing over the years, we can certainly also see others aggressively pushing to keep beliefs stationary.
I also feel a large part of this movement is the societal realization that each relationship we have ultimately affects us in unfathomable ways. I have had relationships made me feel extremely self-conscious, I have also had relationships build my body image up beyond belief. Ultimately it is always up to us to love ourselves, exactly as we are. If I could give one lesson for readers to take from my experience, is that Everybody, and Every body, is unique. That individuality is our super power, so I highly encourage everyone to use theirs for the best.
TORSO and other works is a self-published book that will be made available for purchase. Currently it's view able at the NOTMYCOMMUNITY show Dirty Laundry taking place at LUX Laundromat. Show runs from February 1st to 29th, 2020.